Get into car, start vacation

Published in the Friday, May 30, 1986 Salt Lake Tribune

By Kathy Hunsaker

School will be ending soon, and as a teacher, I will miss the little faces (with bits of scrambled egg stuck to the chin) and the smiles of adoration that come from 8-year-old children who think you're wonderful.  There are, however, things I won't be missing as June rolls around. These include:

1. Transformers. Everything turns into something  else nowadays.  Watches turn into robots, cars into watches, calculators into cars, teachers into crazed toy picker uppers. 

2.  Little people reporting stolen goods to me.  "He took my pencil."  "Someone stole my lunch."  "My watch/calculator/model car has been stolen."  These items have never been misplaced-- there is always a criminal charge made.

3.  Hands covered with pen marks, Magic Marker lines, chalk dust, ditto machine smudges.  I'm talking about my own hands. 

4. Being locked in a room with 27 children during a rainy recess when they'd schedule an important baseball game.  Not a pretty sight. 

5.  Walking 2 1/2 miles to the office to get a phone call from someone who hung up because he had to wait too long.

6.  Bickering, fighting, pushing, shoving, hitting, kicking, pinching and slapping.  I know teachers only have 30 minutes for lunch, but this behavior in the faculty room can really grate on your nerves!

7.  Deciphering writing that could stump the most efficient CIA, FBI, IRS agent! I've tried mirrors, magnifying glasses and my magical decoder ring and there are still samples of writing that I have yet to unravel. 

Overused, Abused

8. Doing six things at once, even though I've become very adept to eating a sandwich, answering a question, checking a paper, settling a dispute, writing a note to a parent and putting up a bulletin board at the same time. 

9.  Parent-teacher conference.  These are in the evening after a day of school in our district. (Not by my choice of course!) By 4, my brain has been used, overused and abused and has checked out for the day.  It's tough to try and deliver a professional, well thought out evaluation of a child's progress when your mouth is working without the aid of the brain, the stomach growling, the head is pounding and the eyelids are drooping. 

10.  Giving orders.  It takes me almost a month each summer to stop talking to my husband like he'd a third grader.  "Get your shoes on.  Tuck your shirt in.  I want you to be quiet.  Line up at the door with your arms folded and let's get into that car and start this vacation!" 

Happy Summer!

Kathy Hunsaker, besides teaching third grade, likes embroidery, reading, photography and collecting humorous tapes for her answering machine.